# How I Wish Trauma Had Been Explained to Me

![rw-book-cover](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1200,h_600,c_limit,f_jpg,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F63c66efd-5c85-4623-9e48-f874e4a7c83e_1024x1024.png)

## Metadata
- Author: [[Sasha Chapin]]
- Full Title: How I Wish Trauma Had Been Explained to Me
- Category: #articles
- URL: https://sashachapin.substack.com/p/how-i-wish-trauma-had-been-explained

## Highlights
- Also, sometimes even superficially *good,* or neutral, experiences can get split off, if they’re divergent enough from your default view of yourself. One example of this could be a kind of pleasure you’ve indulged in but aren’t comfortable with. Another could be an element of your personality that’s enjoyable to inhabit but that you’re scared to acknowledge––whatever your equivalent of a “dark side” is. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gmyzkr6g9rc9ky9m3nh22r5a))
    - Tags: [[trauma]] 
- The human mind can’t completely repress stuff. You can’t just forget your pain, and you’re not supposed to be able to. Your mind is built for survival, not comfort. It would be bad if you forgot that snakes were dangerous, so you’re going to remember that snakebite. And, in practical terms, snakebite is often less dangerous than the threat of social isolation or abandonment. So you’re not going to forget moments when you felt deeply humiliated either. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gmyzsavd1t6yq3cchj6vfbx8))
    - Tags: [[trauma]] 
- Note that people, in general, do not like letting go of their conditioning—it is painful and confusing to let go of your conditioning. Like if you’ve been brought up in a culture that tells you that gay people will go to hell, and then you make a gay friend who you don’t feel should be tortured eternally, this is going to be horribly confusing. With your old authority figures called into question, it’s not going to be clear who’s right or who’s wrong anymore, and it will thus be harder to figure out how to live. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gmz1ch2r9kfhs8x32ta2pwvw))